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We were about to take the bus from Vientiane to Hanoi overnight, as part of our five-month trip around Asia. In Vang Vieng, we had been tubing and watching TV. Whilst in the capital, Vientiane we had been soaking up the culture and wandering the street markets. We join our heroes as they climb aboard their worst travel experience to date, “the journey from hell”.
Vang Vieng; the town that culture forgot. At least, that’s the way it was when we visited in November 2009 as part of a five month trip through Asia. We arrived from Luang Prabang. You can read all about in our blog; BBQs, Buddhas and Beautification in Luang Prabang.
(Here, again, our camera failed us so we have few photos, and they are mostly of us dancing in a bar, a little worse for wear.)
You know that scene in zombie or bodysnatcher films with brain-dead beings wandering shopping malls. You know the ones, they all look vacant and walk into things. Vang Vieng in Laos is a lot like that. Every morning happy, smiling backpackers would leave on 4x4s, clinging onto large tire inner tube’s, and every evening they would return soggy, grazed bruised and dazed. The rest of us sat, undead, in the video bars.
Dotted throughout the tourist town, you could hear familiar voices emanating from the cafes. Ross and Rachel got together and broke up, got together and broke up in one, Peter and Brian Griffin sang swing numbers in another, and abrupt shouts of “Doh!” erupted every so often from a third. Basically, these places specialised in cheap grub and comfy tables surrounded by cushions. Above hung screens, constantly replaying DVDs of popular American TV shows.
When all you have done all day is watch a whole season of Family Guy and inhale a bowl of cheap chicken super noodles, you have to wonder if you’re really making the most of your travelling experience.
This is the main reason people visit Vang Vieng. If you’ve never heard of tubing, let me try to explain. You take a giant rubber ring and get driven to a river, in this instance, the Nam Song river. Then you get really drunk in the bar that is next to the river. After an hour or so of imbibing your poison of choice (ours was Pimms and lemonade) out of a small plastic bucket, you make your way slowly down to the water and jump into your rubber ring. This carries you downstream.
Soon another bar comes into view and helpful staff toss out a rope to pull you in. You order another bucket of alcohol to swig on and play on the rope swing, slide or greasy pole that they have. Repeat this process again, and again, and again, moving along from bar to bar throughout the day.
Back in your rubber ring, further downstream, you start to realise that the sun is beginning to set and a huge number of mosquitoes are excitedly surrounding your unprotected flesh. You start to think that it is time to get out and take your 4×4 of shame back to town, soggy, grazed, bruised, dazed and with an arm full of colourful string. (More about that string later).
For a more normal river experience, check out The Slow Boat from Thailand to Laos – A Two Day Treat
Hating ourselves for wasting two whole days staring at a TV screen in the video bars, we decided to hire two bikes and pedal to a nearby cave. We whizzed through the zombie-filled streets and crossed a small bridge that leads straight into a field. The hills opened up in front of us. It was an immediate relief.
The path was bumpy and despite the bike’s soft seats, quite punishing on our backsides. Halfway to the cave, we stopped at a cafe for a cold drink. They kindly offered us a seat but we needed to give our battered bottoms a rest.
To be honest, I don’t really remember the cave and have no photos, but I do remember the joy of saying goodbye to the bicycles and climbing into the cool darkness of the cave beyond.
With such a concentration of backpackers, there was a party every night in Vang Vieng. Some bars/pubs adorned tubers arms with string during the day, which they could use to get free drinks in the evening. We visited a few bars during our time in Vang Vieng, some serving cheap local booze, and some claiming to serve “happy” products. A “happy” pizza, banana shake or toastie is something that contains magic mushrooms. Contrary to this seemingly relaxed stance on drug taking, Laos actually has very strict drug laws; you can lose your life if the charges are serious enough. There was no way we were going anywhere near that nonsense!!
Instead, we went for good old fashioned cheap, local, nasty booze!
The evening of our tubing experience, we hit the bars for our free drinks. It was hot and sticky, and the bar we chose had a slightly rank sheen to the walls, but the drinks were cheap and the music loud. We were up on the benches in no time, dancing and meeting new friends…like this even drunker lady.
On another evening, we saw something setting up on the defunct air strip. Our guesthouse backed onto the area so we were in prime position to check it out. There was a market going on and so we went to have a look. Secondhand clothes, shoes and trinkets were on sale. All things that locals might actually buy, and none of the tourist tat, or waterproof phone cases, that were on offer in every shop we had seen thus far.
We played a game that involved throwing a dart at a rack of balloons. Pop and balloon and win a can of Red Bull. A very simple game that wasn’t clearly rigged like most games in U.K. fairs…we still didn’t win though. I don’t think hand/eye coordination is our thing.
Vang Vieng has to be the strangest place we have ever visited, and yet, we didn’t even visit it. As our double decker, backpacker bus wove its way out of town, the cityscape changed dramatically. Gone were the perfectly maintained streets with their clean pavements and video bars. Instead were mud roads with no discernible pavements or markings. Ramshackle food stalls, and dwellings crowded the side of the road and local faces gazed after the bus, probably wondering why none of us had been to visit their side of town. I felt a horrible guilt that I had made no effort to go beyond the backpackers borders. It was somewhat of a learning curve and we vowed that we would try harder in future to leave the comfort of the easy and expected.
Check out all our travels on our five month adventure through Asia.
Apparently Vang Vieng was all but dismantled from the zombie-land we visited. The town took back its personality and started to rebuild its tourism industry from the ground up. Gone were the video bars, and the tubing and accompanying bars were regulated. It has reinvented itself as a place for adventure activities. You can raft the river, whizz down a zip-wire, rock climb or explore magical lagoons.
I hope that when you visit, you will find a place that speaks of its Laotian life, as well as throwing the occasional booze-fuelled party, just for old-time’s sake.
Rosie xx
Arriving in Luang Prabang, after our two day boat trip from Thailand to Laos (read all about our slow boat experience) we were a overwhelmed by the surge of touts, and underwhelmed by the weather. Two days of sunshine and no hassle quickly turned into lots of pestering and a drizzly day.
Happily, the town quickly changed our minds.
Luang Prabang is the most wonderful little town. There are wooden signs on the front of shops and restaurants so finding your way around it so be easy. We went for a hotpot called Lao Lao Garden on the first evening. Here you cook your own meat seafood and veg before plunging them into the moat of broth running around the outside. The grill rises up in a cone that is fitted over a ferocious bucket of coal. It was a really fun way to enjoy dinner.
We read, on a wooden board, that the whole town is a UNESCO World Heritage Site. It is an amazing example of the blend between traditional Laotian architecture and French colonial style. It is obvious to see as you walk through the town and it really is a beautiful place compared to most of Laos.
Our favourite spot sat atop a hill looking over the town. As we took in the view we watched a small plane descending into the airport, the drone just reaching us through the drizzle-filled air. It was a lovely moment of calm. We discussed hopping into a tuktuk to go bowling (the only entertainment we had heard about) but decided to go for dinner in a restaurant with a real log fire instead. Oh yes, we know how to party.
Around Luang Prabang are temples galore. We spent a surprisingly chilly day slowly meandering between them. I think the slow pace of the slow boat had rubbed off on us. We took a slow walk up Phousi Hill. We head upwards, step by slow step, stopping regularly to take in the view and catch our breath. The hill reaches up to 100m above town. and we climbed over 300 steps up to the top. On the way up we found lots of shrines and Buddhas, all bedecked in gold. On the summit was the That Chomsi temple, reached by taking a stone bridge edged by two long dragon statues.
Having overspent a little in Chiang Mai and Pai on activities and cocktails, I was on a push to save money. This meant that during the day, for lunch and breakfast, I ate plain rice topped with the chilli sauce that was on every restaurant table. This worked out at about £0.15p a meal, well done me!
On our last evening we took a stroll through the night market. Here we found an abundance of cheap, very cheap, very delicious things on a stick. I think we had chicken, I know we had a fish, and both were surprisingly well kept. We took seats at communal table and chatted convivially with the other diners.
Then there was the pancake.
The popular route that backpackers take through SE Asia is often known as the “banana pancake trail”, but as I hate bananas, I mixed things up a little. In Laos, they make your crepes folded in a super crispy parcel and then cut it into squares. I tried a few variations of these but the one that I still think about was the Nutella and mango. Sweet, gooey, chocolatey….I tried and failed to find another pancake as good as this for the rest of our trip….I am still trying.
Bellies full and wallets fuller than expected, we decided to buy a souvenir lamp. We rarely buy anything on our travels but we were both taken by small wooden and paper lamps. They have been with us ever since (nine years and counting).
Something I almost forgot about!
Our trip was bound for the beaches of Vietnam so we thought we would get a little beauty day. It was super cheap and after two days on the slow boat, we needed a good rub down. As well as a full body massage, I was going for a bikini wax and Mr Fluskey was getting his back done.
We lay side by side, ready to be taken to a state of relaxation, but it wasn’t quite what we expected. The ladies pulled, pushed, bent, slapped and squeezed us. Bankers in London would pay thousands for this! I think it was mild torture. Mind you, if the massage was mild BDSM, then the waxing was extreme pleasure pain….without the pleasure.
The wax used at the salon was a cold, honey wax. This pulls painfully on your hair even as it applied, and then isn’t actually any good at removing hair! I managed one failed strip before I told them it wasn’t happening!! Mr Fluskey, however, already had it slathered across his back and so he endured 15 minutes of abuse as they tried to de-fluff him. He winced and whimpered whilst they all giggled at him. OK, I giggled too. He was left red, raw and with only a little less hair.
We left the salon limping and wondering what on earth had just happened to us.
Check out all our travels on our five month adventure through Asia.
Luang Prabang was undoubtably the highlight of our time in Laos. It is a very interesting and charmingly relaxed town. However, with the expansion of the airport (you can now fly into Luang Prabang from Thailand, Vietnam, Singapore, Cambodia and Vientiane) it is sure to be receiving many more tourists than when we visited, ten years ago. I suppose that what we are saying is go…go now…go quickly before it turns into a city ravaged by over-commercialisation. Luang Prabang is a pretty special place and it would be good to catch it while it retains that magic. Next on our travels we went to Vang Vieng, read all about it in Tubing, TV and Too Many Drinks
Rosie xx
The south-east Asian backpacking circuit is well established. From Bangkok, travellers head north-west to Chang Mai, Pai and go trekking in the golden triangle, before heading east into the small country of Laos. Most travellers cross the border and then get on “the slow boat to Laos”. That is exactly what we did on our five month trip across south-east Asia.
We bought a package from Pai. We had a van transfer to the Thai border, one night in a hotel there and then the boat tickets. The van transfer took an age. We were on the road all day and worked our way through far too many box sets on the iPod classic. (Seriously, how did we both watch such a tiny screen!)
We got to our guesthouse that backed onto the water and it was a bit rubbish, but then that’s what you get when you don’t pick it yourself. We made the mistake of going for dinner with the rest of the group and got eaten alive by huge swarms of river-dwelling mosquitoes!
It was with frustration and disappointment that we realised something was wrong with our camera. It was refusing to take any photos. We later learned that the memory card had caught a virus in a Bangkok internet cafe. It probably isn’t the only thing to leave Bangkok infected!
We stocked up on food and drink from local vendors before climbing aboard the long wooden vessel. There were benches to either side of a central aisle but the back section was a nice open space, and drenched in sun. We decided to indulge in a spot of sunbathing.
The slow boat to Laos is exactly that, slooooooow! It takes two days to chug along the Mekong River from the Thai/Laos border to Luang Prabang down river. Plenty of time then to get to know our fellow passengers. The boat was only about half full and so there was plenty of room for everyone. A group of louder, younger, drunker backpackers hung out at the back, and so ensued a six hour boat party. The cheap booze flowed on deck, as the sluggish Mekong River flowed beneath. It was a most leisurely way to spend a day, even if it did lead to a hangover and slight sun stroke.
We stopped in Pakbeng and checked into an utterly nondescript guest house. We popped out for some dinner but the long hours of day drinking had taken their toll. Others hit the bars in town but we hit the sheets and slept until the early morning wake up call for the boat.
The next morning, we were up and out bright and early, ready for another day on the water. It was with confusion and mild horror that we saw the waiting boat. Nearly every seat was taken. Where on earth had all these extra people come from!? We scampered down the gangplank and grabbed two of the only seats that were left. No longer was there room for everyone to stretch out, sunbathe or host a dance party. Instead, we were sat on a hard wooden bench, with only our cheap travel pillows for comfort. It was very different, and although still perfectly pleasant, nowhere near as fun.
A quick note: From looking at recent photos of the slow boat to Laos, it looks like the hard wooden benches have been replaced by padded seats with full back supports. This is probably a lot more comfortable but it must be harder to socialise with those around you.
After such a long day of relative peace drifting along the Mekong, stepping off the boat into a hoard of touts was a little overwhelming. They swarmed down the concrete slope and we had to haul our stiff limbs and heavy backpack past them. We made straight for the cheapest guesthouse in our guidebook and it was with great relief that we checked in. The guest house was odd, we had to pass through the families front room, clamber through a hatch and then the rooms were lined up along a wide utility corridor. At 40 kip we weren’t complaining. It seemed that Laos was going to be that little bit cheaper.
Want to read more about our five month trip across Asia? Check out even more of our adventures.
Taking the slow boat to Laos was somewhat a rite of passage into the backpacking world. There are other options so as a quick comparison, from Thailand to Luang Prabang, you can take:
I would happily take the slow boat to Laos again, if I had the time. Sometimes when you are travelling at a million miles an hour, having the time to do nothing is a welcome breather. I guess that is why we love train travel too, it is the transport that gives you the time to take it all in (without the car sickness).
Rosie xx
My hubby, Mr Fluskey, has a travel quirk that most people don’t understand. He likes to eat a McDonald’s Big Mac in every new country he visits. After a long debate about this, I bent to his will. To try and alleviate my slight corporation guilt, I try to eat something from the menu that we don’t have at home, like the samurai burger in Thailand. So why does he love munching on Mcdonald’s?
We have eaten burgers across the world, ranging from utterly delicious (in India) to truly terrible (the burgers in Indonesia were little better than chewing polystyrene). I really couldn’t work out if I enjoyed my chicken shakers in Japan. But there was a particularly saucy little number in Copenhagen, Denmark that left me in an ecstatic BBQ mess. In South Korea there was lots to great food to eat, (check out Seoul Food – Eats and Treats in South Korea) but we still tried the local golden arches offering!
Only six countries have thwarted Karl in his beefy conquest so far:
Big Macs are not served in India, in fact there are no beef burgers whatsoever on the menu in this mostly Hindu country. Instead they serve the Maharaja Mac.
This is built like a Big Mac (two patties, the extra bun in the middle) but consists of two chicken burgers and a mild curry sauce. We enjoyed this burger so much, we went back two weeks later for another one.
Check out all of our travels in Incredible India
When we visited Vietnam in 2009, McDonald’s was still forbidden fruit. With many investment restrictions stopping some of our best known big western businesses setting up shop, McDonald’s were kept at the gates. Weirdly there was a KFC in Hanoi and Karl accepted this as a substitute. The restrictions were loosened in 2014 and the countries first McDonald’s served 400,000 customers in the first month. The Vietnamese obviously love munching on McDonald’s as much as Karl does.
Check out all our travels in Vietnam
As an unrecognised Soviet country, there is little to no western investment in this tiny place. We went out for a pizza but I know Karl must have had a burger-y niggle in the back of his mind.
Read all about when we spent One Night in Transnistria
McDonald’s served its last meal in Iceland back in 2009. The countries economic problems meant that the franchise became too expensive to run and so they closed their three branches and left Reykjavik’s residents to enjoy homegrown fast food joint Aktu Taktu. We did the same when we visited in 2012.
Read 4 Days in Iceland – A Long Weekend in the Land of Fire and Ice
On our travels through South-East Asia in 2009, I got to eat delicious, cheap food through Laos without the glare of the Golden Arches.
Read about all our travels in Laos
I’d like to say that we ate really healthily when McDonald’s was nowhere in sight, but I ate a lot of super noodles for breakfast in Cambodia. It’s traditional, but not much healthier than a burger really.
This habit can be a little bad for our waistlines. When we are dashing through countries Karl needs his fix once every few days (where available). I used to roll my eyes when we entered a McDonald’s abroad, wondering if the other people in there thought we are too scared, or too fussy to try the local food. But I have since come to realise that they are in there too and a sneaky Happy Meal doesn’t hurt once in a while.
Aqaba, Jordan, it’s 46 degrees centigrade, it’s Ramadan and everywhere is shut. In the distance we spy the golden M. It is open, but we can’t have any food, or sit in the air conditioning, or on the veranda. We got the biggest iciest drinks we could walked away with our very hot tails between our legs.
Check out our Your 10 Day Jordan Itinerary – World Wonders and Wadis
Rosie xx