“Ladies and Gentleman of Mad Monkey Boracay, there are free shots at the bar. Let’s go!”
So echoes the call that pierces the air every hour while the bar is open at Mad Monkey Boracay. And what a welcome call it is for the budget traveller. It is just one of the things that makes Mad Monkey Boracay the best party hostel in the Philippines!
The Location
Set two blocks back from D*Mall, and three from the sea, Mad Monkey is about ten minutes from Boracay’s famous White Beach.
When you arrive at the port, catch a shared van to Station Two. (You may need to find a local to latch onto to avoid getting roped into paying for a private tricycle).
It is also almost equidistant from Bulabog Beach on the other side of the long, thin island. This is the perfect beach for those who want to learn kite-boarding or wind-surfing! It also gets the morning sun so if you are an early bird, or you still up from the night before., this is where you can top up your tan. Finally, it is less busy than White Beach so it may be a little more gentle on your hangover.
The Room
Our private room had sliding balcony doors; an unusual design that I really liked. Although the room was pretty huge, seeing the sky made the room feel even bigger. We just had to remember to shut the curtains when we got changed(!)
I liked the decor. It was simple but bright and colourful. Each room has a different paint job. I like to think that ours was called the high-five room. In my more bored moments, waiting for Mr Fluskey to wake up, I went round and tried to high-five all the hand prints.
The bed was very well sized for a hostel double. We were in our own private room, but even the single bunk beds in the dorms looked pretty good, with a proper mattress.
The showers were warm! It may seem weird to be excited about that, but many budget properties only have cold water in the Philippines. I don’t know about you, but even if I am roasting hot, I can’t abide cold showers.
I was a bit concerned about the noise but the bar has a strict 00:00 closing time and so they went to bed (or more likely out clubbing) when we did.
The Food and Drink
Let’s start with the drinks seeing as we talking about the bar.
Mad Monkey Boracay will not leave you wanting when it comes to the odd drink. My absolute favourite was the mango daiquiri. This consists of taking one of Cebu’s amazing mangoes (seriously, they are the most amazing mangoes in the world), and blitzing it with a huge glug of rum. I only intended to have one, but seven mangoes later, I was eventually cut off when the bar shut.
The most famous drink at the bar must be the Boracay Bomb. There is a competition every month to see which nationality can down the most of these big, bad-ass beverages.
How to make a Boracay Bomb
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Fill a big glass, half full with Red Bull
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Balance two shot glasses in the top, one with vodka, and one with coconut rum.
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Drink the shots and chase with the Red Bull.
The bar at Mad Monkey Boracay doesn’t just serve great drinks, but you can find a range of food, from breakfast to dinner. We were pleasantly surprised at the quality of the food we tried. The first thing was fish goujons. We thought they would be oven-cooked, bread-crumbed mediocrity, but they were actually light and the fish was cooked perfectly. Mr Fluskey also demolished a bowl of pasta and gave it big thumbs up. I went with fish tacos and they were great!
Check out our Air Juan review to MPH Cataclan Airport for Boracay
The Communal Areas of Mad Monkey Boracay
The reception will not only welcome with a surprise that I won’t reveal, but they are a really helpful and friendly bunch. You can book tours, onwards travel, and kite-surfing lesson. They helped us get our laundry done quickly and cheaply.
This hostel has a surprisingly large pool. It’s set up for playing volleyball, or if, like me, you find that all too much like hard work, you can just float about in the sun.
Around the grounds you will find a spa. We had just WAY overpaid for a massage somewhere else so we skipped getting one here, but the hangover massage was very intriguing.
Then there is the tattoo studio. I have been debating a tattoo for a while and I’m glad I didn’t get blind drunk or I may have found myself three storeys up getting inked. We saw pictures of their work and they do great work. If you are considering getting something done, you can do it here (and then limp back to your room easily).
The Mad Monkey Party
This is party hostel! You can’t help but have fun when you come and stay here. They arrange different activities every day that you can join in with. We were gutted to find out that we arrived just too late for the weekly boat party. It sounded like a brilliant day, and every one was tipsy enough that they looked as if they still had their sea legs on when they got back.
We also saw posters for an ATV day and loads of other tours they can arrange. These are cheaper than the touts offer them at the beach, and you know you will be with other fun people and not a boat-full of middle aged Korean ladies.
On our second night, we took part in the beer pong tournament. I say “we”, but I mean Mr Fluskey. If you know Mr Fluskey and his normal level of sporting prowess, you will know that his taking part is as unexpected as him drinking beer. (If you don’t know him, he is not good at sport, and he hates beer). Happily, in this game they use water and you drink your own drink as your forfeit, it’s hardly a punishment to hammer through a vodka coke. I just cheered from the side lines and knocked back my delicious mango daiquiris.
Mad Monkey Boracay have a couple of reps making sure that everyone is having a great time. They even came to chat to us (as a couple, that doesn’t happen very often). We had some yummy cocktail poured into our mouths…another free drink. Well done Mad Monkey!!
We made some great new friends, we danced, we drank and we tried not to fall in the pool.
Check out our AirSWIFT review from MPH Cataclan Airport for Boracay
A Quick Serious Moment.
Not only is Mad Monkey, a brilliant chain of party places, but it has a heart too. They are committed to pumping money back into the local economy, where it needs it most. It’s so nice to know that your pesos are going to help build infrastructure or provide education or healthcare to Asian areas that really benefit from it. At the moment, they are putting a lot of their resources in the new property and surrounding area of Nacpan Beach (el Nido).
Check out our review of A Bed in El Nido – El Gordo’s Action Adventures Guesthouse Review
Final Thoughts
We visited Mad Monkey Boracay for my birthday and had such a great time. The staff couldn’t have been more enthusiastic or helpful (whether that was giving us advice, or giving us shots).
If you are after the best place to party in the Philippines then get your butt to Mad Monkey Boracay. The island is kicking into the early hours, and Mad Monkey is THE place to get the night started.
You can book directly with the hostel on the Mad Monkey website and we can promise you, you’ll have a wicked time!!
Rosie xx
